If you have a shy or fearful dog, you may have heard well-meaning advice such as, “Let your friends give him a treat. Then he will warm up to your friend.”
It sounds harmless, right? But when we are dealing with a shy or fearful dog, having people offer treats is not the best approach. In fact, asking friends and family members to give your shy dog treats can make the situation more difficult.
Imagine being afraid of someone, but that person keeps approaching you with something you really want. You might take the treat because you want it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are comfortable with the person.
Dogs that do not feel comfortable around strangers can experience that same conflict. In fact we say they are conflicted. The dog may approach, take the treat, but then quickly retreat. To the person, it may look like progress: “See? He likes me!”
But the dog may simply be making a choice between something valuable and something scary. When someone offers a treat, a shy dog may move toward that person even though they would normally prefer to keep their distance or move farther away. This can put the dog in a difficult position which is very stressful for the dog.
The dog may approach to get the food and then find themselves closer to the person than they are comfortable with. If the person reaches toward them, tries to pet them, or becomes excited because the dog came closer, the dog may feel trapped.
Instead of learning to feel more comfortable around strangers, the dog learns: “When I approach people for food, they approach me.” That may actually make the dog less willing to approach people in the future.
So what do you do to help your shy dog feel more comfortable? Stand with your dog at a comfortable distance from the person. Remember – your dog chooses that distance. He needs to be far enough away that your dog is relaxed. If he’s comfortable, he will likely take treats. But instead of having your friend give the treat, you treat him. Keep these sessions short, but feed your pet repeatedly while the stranger is present. Use high value treats – something he may not get at any other time.
The message you are now giving your dog is, when that scary person is present, he stays away from me and good things happen – I get yummy treats. Repeated, this actually can change your dog’s view of the scary person.
Remember, the dog always decides how quickly or slowly he progresses as each dog is unique. Giving him the chance, you’ll likely see him be more comfortable at closer distances from the person. When the dog feels comfortable, he will, on his own, approach the person. Once the dog is willing to approach and indicate he’d like to interact with the person without the lure of a treat, that person can then treat the dog.
